One In Oneness

Changes can occur in an instant but it takes so much longer for my mind to accept it. Change, my constant companion, has always been difficult for me. I am also not good with surprises or last minute adventures. On the other hand, I love miracles, flashes of insight and ah-ha moments!

For the longest time, I have believed that change was the only thing I could count on, but I have come to realize that I can trust the peace and stillness deep within my soul, in my castle. I know that only love is real. In my world of illusion, it often takes time for my mind to develop the willingness to accept change. But now I wonder, could it be that change is an illusion?

A few years ago I had an out of body experience. I believe it only lasted a few seconds, but I learned so much during such a short time, I realized that time had passed differently for me during the time I was floating out of my body. Along with change, time is another illusion in the world of matter.

Even though I realize that this world is only an illusion, and it seems silly to get upset about something someone says or does, or even to get frustrated with my computer, I’m sure that when little things like this happen, I will have to remind myself that it’s not real. This concept is huge for me, because I know from my past experience that I have extreme difficulty expressing anger toward others. I tend to hold in it, and repressed anger turns into depression.

I also know from my own experience that it’s not always that easy for me to change my beliefs, it’s a process that takes time. So, here I go, one breath, one heartbeat, one step at a time, allowing my Tree of Love to thrive in the Garden of Illuminated Hearts...

One Heart, One World, One Love, I am Marsha!

"The relationship between our quest for divine purpose and our capacity to love is tangible. As we open the gateway to our heart, our callings step on through, revealing themselves a little bit more with every deepening.

As we infuse our lives with loving-kindness, we enliven our path, granting ourselves the energy we need to see our Godly purpose all the way through to completion. Love is God in her most clarified forms."

~ Jeff Brown (Soulshaping)

Intentional Gratitude

I experienced miraculous changes during my 42 days of ‘Go Gratitude’ which later evolved into ‘World Gratitude.’ Now Stacey Robyn is part of the ‘Blooming Humans Ground Crew,’ so I am choosing to write another series of blogs for 42 days. How could I not? Stacey is my ray of sunshine, my inspiration! I am so very thankful that I have planted my Dream Seeds and it’s time to fulfill my dreams in Birthing a New Reality. I know deep inside my soul, I have been preparing, each day of my life, for what is unfolding now. So, here we grow again, Beloveds.

"What we think, we become. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world." ~ The Buddha

For many years now I have wanted to be a webmaster, creating, designing and developing websites. Then recently my daughter had someone create a site for her using WordPress. I thought kewl! Learning how to use WordPress became my new favorite pastime, which I had expected to be relatively easy to learn and of course lots of fun. I am sad to say I have been so disappointed, because it is neither. It has become a painful drudgery, ah another lesson to learn. Some dreams die hard. But maybe, I am supposed to create my own websites and not sites for others. So, I haven’t totally give up, I have just decided to take another step back and try another approach.

I know this is a time of great growth for me spiritually, and that also means profound change and transformation not only for me, but the world as well. I will continue to envision an emerging world of Peace and Illumination.

In gratitude I go...and grow! I am Marsha!

“Gratitude is an essential facet of love that opens you to redefine your purpose as a supportive extension of the Divine, rather than the whimsical outreach of fate or the exacting reaction of a mechanical, detached universe.”

~ From 'Principles of Personal Transformation' by wingmakers

Letters of Gratitude 11/11/2010

On November 11, 2010, the one year anniversary of my hip replacement surgery I wrote thank you letters to the doctor and the charitable organization that made it all possible. I want to share my heart felt letters of gratitude with you.

Letter to Dr. Richard W. Garner

A year ago could barely walk and I certainly couldn’t do it without extreme pain. I really was only a few weeks away from being in a wheelchair and unable to walk at all. Today and everyday since my hip replacement surgery, I thank God that I can walk and I thank God for you. There is nothing I can ever say that can even come close to expressing my heart felt gratitude for the miraculous life-changing surgery you performed on me on November 11, 2009. I can only say you are my Angel, Dr. Garner. Thank you so very much and thank you for making a difference.

Letter to Anchorage Project Access

I just wanted to send you a short thank you note, even though I don’t know how I can ever thank you enough for the wonderful gift you have given to me. You really have changed my life. I was literally only weeks away from being unable to walk and spending my life in a wheelchair. I was lost in a never ending cycle of pain, depression and sleepless nights. Today and everyday since my hip replacement surgery on November 11, 2009, I thank God that I can walk. Thank you so very much and please give my heart felt thanks to all the wonderful Angels at Project Access.

I also chose this time to return my Prayer Card to Astara. Since this is also part of my healing path, I am reposting it here as well.

Astara Prayer Card

My greatest need is to live in joy and also to have peace in my life and within my family. I wish to continue growing spiritually with Astara’s degree lessons. I hope to find my true path through communication. I would like to make a difference in the world by sharing my story. I aspire to contribute to the greater good while helping others as I walk my healing path of gratitude.

The tradition of the prayer card began 50 years ago, ‘blending the power of intent with the workings of the Divine already present in each highest good.’ The Voice of Astara, November 2010. The card becomes part of Astara’s special Christmas Service and thus becomes ‘a powerful vehicle for growth, healing, transformation…’

So as the Astarian Tradition continues, my new tradition of sending thank you cards on the anniversary of my life changing surgery begins…

And so as my healing path continues…always with gratitude, I am Marsha!

Day 41 - Musings of Gratitude

*Artwork by Shawn Gallaway*

Last night I had a difficult time falling asleep, I just could not stop thinking about what I will begin for the next 42 days. There are so many things I want to do. I still have pain in my hand from the carpal tunnel surgery, it’s getting better but ever so slowly. So I have to wonder if I really am ready to do 42 days of sketching. It will happen but maybe not just yet.

I remember years ago when I was much younger I would be so excited to find money left in vending machines or in pay phones. Now I prefer to leave a coin for someone else to find, hoping that when someone finds it they will be as happy as I used to be when I would find a coin. I know it’s just a small thing, but my little random act of kindness brings me great pleasure.

I remember another time when ever I would go shopping at a local grocery store there was a checker who worked there. He always greeted me with such a big smile, it touched my soul. My husband and I had separated at the time and I was deep in the darkness of depression. It was just a little thing but that smile and friendly greeting meant so much to me. As I got better, I noticed that he greeted each of his customers the same way. I never knew his name or spoke more than a few words as he was ringing up my purchases, but I know that he was making a difference in peoples lives. I shall always be thankful for the smile that lit up my darkness. It really is strange that such a little thing as a smile can make a difference in someone’s life, but it does.

I have often wished that I had the gift of music, alas, that will never be in this lifetime. If I try to sing, it comes out wrong. I cannot carry a tune, I’m not sure what is wrong with me. Is this what being tone deaf means? I also have extreme difficulty trying to recognize a song when there are no words. So I wonder, what does it mean for me if “Music [. . .] is the key to unlock the Heart-Door of the Supreme” as Sri Chinmoy says? I enjoy listening to music and even singing along with my favorites but I only do it when I am alone. I’m sure this is a gift to those around me!

‘An Post’ just delivered my gift, This is The Moment!, from Walter Green. Here is the inscription inside.

Dear Marsha,

I was both touched by your amazing life events as well as your profound journey of gratitude. May you find a nugget or two in “This is the Moment” to further enrich your life. Be well and enjoy the moment.

All my best,

WG

I can hardly wait to start reading. In fact I will begin as soon as I get this posted. I am so great’full to Walter and what an amazing gift he has given me. I am truly blessed. I am gratitude!

Opening doors of possibility as I walk my path of gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 41 - MUSE-I-CALL-YE GRATITUDE

Day 39 - Moving Mountains With Gratitude

*ArtPeace by Krystleyez*

Today is my 39th day of writing my feelings from my heart with gratitude. I cannot believe how amazing it has been, how much I have changed and how much I have grown. As I write my pain I am releasing it. I am changing my life with gratitude and as I do I am moving closer to the light. I never know what I am going to write, I just kind of close my eyes for a moment and the words come to me.

I am so tired today, not because I didn’t sleep well, I did. It’s just a residual effect from yesterday’s allergic response to the wheat I ingested. I gave a small piece of the contaminated meat to my cat, Ash usually gobbles it up. I thought something was wrong when he turned up his nose, but I ate it anyway. We often refer to Ash as an ‘Eejit’ (Irish slang for idiot), but he is smarter than me. Aha!

*The Blessing Seed by Alison Dexter*

One of the things that I learned during my o.b.e. was that time passes differently on the other side. Here in Earth School, the illusion of time reinforces reality. So, I must still occasionally remind myself that this is not the true reality. I am living in a world of illusion, time as we know it does not exist in true reality. I see my life here as the curriculum in "Earth School." Memories of so many lessons are still painful, but that’s what I am here for and today I am humbly learning lessons from my cat!

Yesterday, I started reading Gratitude a Way of Life by Louise Hay. She talks about how the Universe loves gratitude. So the more great’full I am the more I receive! Yay! This is the Law of Gratitude. She goes on to say that complaining only brings more to complain about. 

“The Universe always gives us what we believe we deserve.”

It’s too easy, but such an interesting thought and an amazing concept.

I am walking in peace and moving mountains with gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 39 - REPLENISHING SOURCE

Day 37 - Ripples of Gratitude

*Return of the Golden Mean by B. Xolotl*

On this day in my life, the 37th day of my 42 days with Gratitude, I know that from this point forward I will always live my life in gratitude. This journey will continue, and it’s time for me to write to all the people in my life that I am thankful for and to tell them how much they mean to me. I am going to write letters to so many people. Many of them will be private but some I may publish on my blog. We will see. I do not know when my life as I know it will end but when it does, I will hopefully leave nothing undone and no stone unturned. What better gift than to love and to be loved?

A few days ago an online friend, who had a yahoo group, contacted me to tell me “thank you” for mentioning Astara while I was a member of his group. He had become a member of Astara and was now enrolled in their mystery school completing their Book of Life Degree Lessons. I am so happy that something I had written helped to change his path. Strange isn’t it? Something that seems small to me might just make a big difference to someone else! But perhaps it was not a coincidence maybe we were destined to meet in an online group?

I first found Astara when my kids were little, but I wasn’t ready to hear their message. It was not until many years later after I had an o.b.e. that I found them again. I signed up to be a member and started studying their Book of Life Degree Lessons. I have been studying their degree lessons ever since. I love Astara and I am so thankful not only that I found them but that I helped another find them as well. I believe that an “Astarian never walks alone!” This has comforted me so much in my times of darkness.

I have some very painful memories that I want to work on, but I don’t have the courage to share them yet. I will write them but I must do so as someone else. I must step out of myself and use the persona of another, perhaps Katherine Black. She is much stronger and more confident than I am. No, I do not have a second personality, I am simply writing with a pen name. And hopefully one day I will have enough courage and be strong enough to be and to accept myself.

Yesterday, I received an email saying that my comments to Walter Green at This is the Moment published part of my Day 27 blog on his web site along with the link to my Marsha’s Musings blog. Wooo hooo! I’m psyched. As I share my path of gratitude I can begin to see how the ripples of gratitude are expanding out slowly but ever so surely. Amazing to think how much difference one person can make in the world. My sincere thanks to Stacey Robyn! Go Gratitude!

Sharing the light with gratitude, I am Marsha.

Day 37 - RIPPLING SPHERES OF GRATITUDE

Day 28 - The Bright Light of Gratitude

*image source.~ unkown

I have much more than a spark of gratitude! It’s more like my heart is on fire with gratitude! And all of a sudden I seem to have so much to say, so many things I want to write about. Gratitude has forever changed my life. There is no going back now, I have fully embraced the changes that gratitude has brought into my life.

I am receiving lots of incoming ideas, not too sure that any of it’s brilliant, but I am ever so great’full none the less. I have always been so quiet and shy, only opening up to a select few. When I was a teenager I was called ‘stuck up’ because I didn't speak, I don’t think anyone realized how painfully shy I was. I wanted to speak but I couldn’t, I was so afraid. I made good grades and did well on tests, but during class if the teacher asked me a question, my face would turn bright red, my mind would go blank, and I couldn’t think of anything to say. It all sounds so crazy. There was another time as an adult when I had laryngits and lost my voice. I could barely whisper. It was difficult for anyone to hear me, much less understand me, but I learned that I sure seemed to have a lot to say for being an introvert!

A few short months ago when I was lost in the darkness I listened to a meditation by Carolyn Myss from Channeling Grace. This one little meditation caused a spark that created a flame, a light in my heart. It was small but it was there just the same. It seemed so bright in the darkness but it was the beginning of the light coming back into my life. And now thanks to Go Gratitude my heart is filled with light! I can close my eyes and see it extending and growing until it surrounds me and completely fills my aura. It’s really an amazing feeling… I am in awe! Go Gratitude!

I am Light, I am Love, I am Gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 28 - SPARK OF GRATITUDE

Day 27 - Angel of Gratitude

As I progress through each day of the 42 days of the Final Wave of Gratitude I am noticing things with the Go Gratitude symbol and also finding much more gratitude in my life. Yesterday I received an email from Hay House and found a book by Walter Green, This Is The Moment. It’s about how he changed his life using the Law of Gratitude. I would love to read it, but of course, living in Ireland has its drawbacks. It takes longer for new books just released in the US to be available here in Ireland. So it’s just another lesson in patience for me. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

I was, however, able to download a 3 page guide, Crafting Your Own Expressions of Gratitude, from his website. The reason I mention this is because it seems to fit in nicely with today’s message. The idea is to express my gratitude for what they’ve done for me and what it has meant in my life. The first step is ‘Who?’ The second step is ‘How?’ The third step is ‘What?’. There are so many people, I could write my own book about it. Hmmm, maybe I will. Now that’s a thought!

Just over a year ago my husband was out of work and had been for a while. I could barely walk with the bone on bone pain from arthritis in my hip and was only weeks away from being in a wheelchair. The pain kept me awake at night even though I was taking a lot of prescribed pain medication, sleeping pills and antidepressants. With no medical insurance and no income, I was lost in a downward spiral into my dark night of my soul with no end in sight.

My Angel a.k.a. Richard W. Garner, M.D.

Somehow, someway, the Angels were watching over me and I was saved. I was accepted by Anchorage Project Access, and my Angel, Dr. Garner. Everything was donated to me, the doctor, the hospital, nursing, everything. My medications were $5 or less. I am truly blessed and will be forever great’full. Many people have made a significant impact on my life but nothing more dramatically than this. I still have some issues and I will never be young again, but I thank God every day I can get out of bed and walk!

Sharing my emotions freely, loving passionately from the heart, and always with gratitude. I am Marsha!

Day 27 - WRITES OF PASSAGE

Angel of Gratitude Reaches Out