Day 39 - Moving Mountains With Gratitude

*ArtPeace by Krystleyez*

Today is my 39th day of writing my feelings from my heart with gratitude. I cannot believe how amazing it has been, how much I have changed and how much I have grown. As I write my pain I am releasing it. I am changing my life with gratitude and as I do I am moving closer to the light. I never know what I am going to write, I just kind of close my eyes for a moment and the words come to me.

I am so tired today, not because I didn’t sleep well, I did. It’s just a residual effect from yesterday’s allergic response to the wheat I ingested. I gave a small piece of the contaminated meat to my cat, Ash usually gobbles it up. I thought something was wrong when he turned up his nose, but I ate it anyway. We often refer to Ash as an ‘Eejit’ (Irish slang for idiot), but he is smarter than me. Aha!

*The Blessing Seed by Alison Dexter*

One of the things that I learned during my o.b.e. was that time passes differently on the other side. Here in Earth School, the illusion of time reinforces reality. So, I must still occasionally remind myself that this is not the true reality. I am living in a world of illusion, time as we know it does not exist in true reality. I see my life here as the curriculum in "Earth School." Memories of so many lessons are still painful, but that’s what I am here for and today I am humbly learning lessons from my cat!

Yesterday, I started reading Gratitude a Way of Life by Louise Hay. She talks about how the Universe loves gratitude. So the more great’full I am the more I receive! Yay! This is the Law of Gratitude. She goes on to say that complaining only brings more to complain about. 

“The Universe always gives us what we believe we deserve.”

It’s too easy, but such an interesting thought and an amazing concept.

I am walking in peace and moving mountains with gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 39 - REPLENISHING SOURCE

Day 38 - Peace with Gratitude

*Ascension Celebration by Willow Arlenea*

Gratitude and peace seem to go well together. After all who in their right mind could imagine Gratitude and war? Anyway, I can’t. Gratitude for the end of war, but never gratitude for war. In order to have gratitude in my life, it is necessary for me to be gratitude. I think to have peace, all of us must feel it and be it. Then and only then it will be so. To have peace, I will first be peace. Today, I am thankful for the peace that gratitude has brought into my life.

In today’s blog, Stacey talks about L’hitpallel. It means literally “to judge oneself”, from aish.com. Living a Joyous Life defines it as “to do something to yourself, not to God.” I will no longer ask if God hears my prayers, because, if God is within me, then I must ask, am I listening to my prayers? How do I want to change myself to make these things happen? It is myself and my relationship to God that I am trying to change with prayer? This means to me that prayer is an exercise in self-reflection and self-evaluation. Ok, I know this is an ‘Aha’ moment, but it’s hurting my brain. It’s ‘New Light’ and I am thankful to have it in my awareness where it can now evolve and grow, integrating into my psyche. As always, another aha moment brings many more questions.

Today I accidently ingested some wheat, and I am allergic to it. I stuck my finger down my throat to purge what I could, then I took Benadryl. I feel ok, but I am really tired. I learned that I cannot rely on others to always label the food correctly. I must always ask questions especially if I am unsure and if I have any doubts, I won’t eat it. This is just one of many different things happening here in Ireland, just little things, but it’s making me feel like I am not supposed to be here. I have often wondered why do I feel like an outcast in the ‘Land of a Thousand Welcomes?’ Is it just this town or is it me? I am beginning to believe that it’s time to move on already. I am never the less grateful for all I have learned here but I am putting it out there, and we will see which door opens. I am in the moment, and going with the flow of Gratitude, welcoming dramatic changes in my life.

Walking my path in Gratitude and Peace. I am Marsha!

Day 38 - PEACE BY BEING PIECE

Day 37 - Ripples of Gratitude

*Return of the Golden Mean by B. Xolotl*

On this day in my life, the 37th day of my 42 days with Gratitude, I know that from this point forward I will always live my life in gratitude. This journey will continue, and it’s time for me to write to all the people in my life that I am thankful for and to tell them how much they mean to me. I am going to write letters to so many people. Many of them will be private but some I may publish on my blog. We will see. I do not know when my life as I know it will end but when it does, I will hopefully leave nothing undone and no stone unturned. What better gift than to love and to be loved?

A few days ago an online friend, who had a yahoo group, contacted me to tell me “thank you” for mentioning Astara while I was a member of his group. He had become a member of Astara and was now enrolled in their mystery school completing their Book of Life Degree Lessons. I am so happy that something I had written helped to change his path. Strange isn’t it? Something that seems small to me might just make a big difference to someone else! But perhaps it was not a coincidence maybe we were destined to meet in an online group?

I first found Astara when my kids were little, but I wasn’t ready to hear their message. It was not until many years later after I had an o.b.e. that I found them again. I signed up to be a member and started studying their Book of Life Degree Lessons. I have been studying their degree lessons ever since. I love Astara and I am so thankful not only that I found them but that I helped another find them as well. I believe that an “Astarian never walks alone!” This has comforted me so much in my times of darkness.

I have some very painful memories that I want to work on, but I don’t have the courage to share them yet. I will write them but I must do so as someone else. I must step out of myself and use the persona of another, perhaps Katherine Black. She is much stronger and more confident than I am. No, I do not have a second personality, I am simply writing with a pen name. And hopefully one day I will have enough courage and be strong enough to be and to accept myself.

Yesterday, I received an email saying that my comments to Walter Green at This is the Moment published part of my Day 27 blog on his web site along with the link to my Marsha’s Musings blog. Wooo hooo! I’m psyched. As I share my path of gratitude I can begin to see how the ripples of gratitude are expanding out slowly but ever so surely. Amazing to think how much difference one person can make in the world. My sincere thanks to Stacey Robyn! Go Gratitude!

Sharing the light with gratitude, I am Marsha.

Day 37 - RIPPLING SPHERES OF GRATITUDE

Day 36 - Memories of Gratitude

*image by Stacey Robyn ~ Choice, Divinity and Grace

It’s easy to be thankful for the really big things, like being able to walk everyday. In reflection, today I would like to write about some of the smaller things I am thankful for that have made a difference in my life. One of the things that comes to mind is a gift I received from Gail. She knew I was a tea drinker so she gave me a gift basket with Earl Gray tea, which I love, and chamomile tea in it. I quickly drank all the Earl Gray, but kept the chamomile anyway. Even dragging it around with me to Alaska and even to Ireland. I always bring a few baggies filled with tea where ever I go because I love my tea and some places it’s extremely difficult to find a good cup of tea, like Utah! Anyway I started drinking it here in Ireland and I was so surprised because I really enjoyed it and I’ve been drinking it ever sense. So today I would like to thank Gail for the small but never the less wonderful change she made in my life.

There was another time in my life when I was working at the English Language Center at a large private university in Colorado. I loved my job, because it was one of the few things that seemed to be working in my life at the time. I thought I had a good relationship with Norma, my boss, and that we were even becoming friends. That all changed when she hired her friend Nancy to work there. Of course, I learned later that she never considered me a friend anyway. I have often wondered what happened to her after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She traveled a lot and would always bring back a little something for me, she was a very kind and caring person. I still have an interesting ceramic cat she gave me that I have come to cherish over the years. I place my rings on it’s tail every time I take them off.

Then 911 happened, we all watched in horror on the TV in the student lounge. The students were terrified. I was terrified, I so wanted to go home that day. In the days that followed our students from many of the Arab countries lived in fear, they were afraid to even go shopping. It was a difficult time for everyone and we were no exception. My husband had gone to visit his dad in Oregon and I found it difficult to go home alone.

In the time that followed my husband, who was self employed, had no contracts and no prospects because the computer jobs in Denver disappeared literally overnight after the towers fell. I wasn’t making enough to cover all of our monthly expenses so we lived on credit thinking the jobs would come back. But they didn’t! One of the most difficult things I ever had to do was sell all of my things at a yard sale and move into a single wide. We lost our pride and dignity with the house. We filed bankruptcy and became a statistic. I learned that it’s the treasures in my heart that are important not the earthly things I have collected. After all it’s the only thing I will be able to take with me when my path ends here in this world.

As for Nancy, I learned that she was also a wonderful person, I have never met anyone like her. When the time came for me to move on, I asked her, “What could I do to improve my job performance?” And she told me, her comments were constructive and very helpful. I am forever in gratitude of her grace and honesty. I have since realized that sometimes people are nice to you at work because you work together not because they like you as a friend. I have wondered why I have trouble telling the difference. Could it be because I was an only child? Or because I have always been so shy and quiet. Either way I don’t think I had the early social development that I should have had. To this day I still watch everyone to try to figure out how to act. I wonder. . . Ahhh the rambling reflections of a not quite ‘old’ woman...

Walking and sharing my ever so humble path of gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 36 - REFLECTIONS OF GRATITUDE

Day 35 - Letting Go of the Weight with Gratitude

*Mayan Hunab Ku*

After looking at the pictures that were taken on my birthday, I realize that I need to lose a few pounds, not only would I look better but I’m sure I would feel better too. My daughter has reached her goal of losing 131 pounds! Kudos! I know it’s been difficult for her, but her future is bright and she looks beautiful. I have lost enough to fit into some of my smaller jeans but I need to lose more. So, why is it so hard? And why have I ALWAYS been so obsessed with it? I’m sure it’s all part of wanting to be like everyone else...and wanting to fit in. Of course, the media doesn’t help. I can remember looking in the mirror when I was very young, I would guess I was about 4 and I would think how fat I was. This was way back in the late 50’s. I don’t know where this was coming from, but I wonder about it now because I was so young. I was not fat, I was ‘normal’ for my age and height. Things that make you go hmmm!

As I got older I always held my stomach in, so I had some killer abs, never washboard, but very strong just the same. I even held my stomach in when I was pregnant, so after giving birth my stomach muscles were still strong. I was always able to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes in less than 2 weeks after giving birth. I always had a nine month bout of morning sickness, and several requiring the occasional emergency room visits to stop the retching and heaving. So I never gained a lot of weight. Then of course there was the occasional bulimia flares, which tended to worsen during my bouts of depression.

I developed asthma as an adult in my thirties after having a severe sinus infection because the doctor kept telling me I had allergies. Hah! I thought this was strange since I had never been allergic to anything but I didn’t know any better because I never even had a sinus infection before. I no longer trust doctors because of this experience. I always question what they tell me, and do my own research. This began a long journey of using inhalers to keep it in check. The reason I mention this is because in my fifties I decided to embrace my expanding waistline and I stopped holding in my stomach so tightly. And a miracle happened, I could breathe! I still carry an emergency inhaler but I no longer have to use the cortisone inhaler everyday. It all seems so strange now and so very simple.

I have tried high protein, low carb diets and find it impossible to follow because of the constipation. I don’t like the concept of low fat, and I sure don’t like salsa on a baked potato! We need some fat in our diet to prevent dry skin, brittle hair and nails. And besides, I so prefer butter on my baked potato because I cannot gag it down without it. First we were told to eat margarine then we were told that was bad and to eat a little butter instead. Don’t drink coffee, then well go ahead and drink coffee, it’s not so bad, and so one. This flip flopping erodes their credibility. At first when I found out that I was allergic to wheat and gluten intolerant, I lost a lot of weight. I didn’t know what to eat and I ate mostly salads. But over the years I have found lots of wheat replacements and started eating the same type of diet I ate before, including lasagna, pasta, pizza, bread, etc.

When I was younger I used to think eating healthy meant eating whatever I wanted and taking vitamins. I have suffered through the years with IBS, heartburn and diverticulitis and seen the doctor many times over the years. I now know better. Shouldn’t doctors know this? And why did they not tell me any of this? Mmmmmmmm… maybe because they are not trained in nutrition! Or are the drug companies who are making millions on their drugs to treat GERD paying the doctors for promoting them? What a vicious circle! I have thrown away the “Food Pyramid” because it’s not how people should eat.

So the question becomes, how have I managed to lose 10 lbs so far without dieting? I am great’full to have found Sherry Brescia and her Great Taste No Pain program. She explains everything so simply that it is easy for me to understand and to follow. It’s basically a combination diet. I have not changed the foods I eat, except for eliminating the diet colas because they give me heartburn. I am changing the way I combine the foods I eat, so I don’t have heartburn which results in better digestion. I am also eating more fresh fruits and vegetables because I feel better when I do and it’s easier for me to lose weight. Yay!

Ahhhhhhhh . . . the sun is shining and sunny days are so rare here, time is a wastin. Today’s blog is much longer than I intended, but I am thankful because I needed to work on my self image issues. Writing, releasing, and ever-evolving in gratitude! Go Gratitude!

Walking a ‘lighter’ and ‘brighter’ path of gratitude! I am Gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 35 - HUNAB KU AS GRATITUDE

Day 34 - Walking a New Path of Gratitude

*image source ~ unknown*

My process of healing with gratitude will certainly continue after this 9th and Final Wave of World Gratitude, I will keep writing that’s a given. I am afraid to stop writing, afraid that the words will stop coming. I have learned so much in the last 34 days, I know that this will not be so. I must quiet my fears, moving beyond them as I continue walking my ‘New Path of Gratitude’.

One of the things that I will really miss are the great pictures that I am using from Stacey’s daily blogs. Perhaps one of the doors I need to open is the one to art. I must start sketching and drawing again. It was something I would do everyday, but I have not drawn anything since my kids were little. I have saved nothing that I ever created because I could never live up to my own standard of perfection. I know this has to change. What if I spend 42 days of sketching and drawing? Hmmmmmmm . . . I will have to ponder that! I am so amazed by what has happened with my writing that I can only believe the results would be just as miraculous, but then only time will tell. So, we shall see…

I had a really wonderful birthday yesterday, I am so thankful for all my blessings, the World Gathering Forum, my new path of gratitude, and especially my friends and family, to name just a few. Yes, I am truly blessed. I spoke with my 7 year old grandson, Jax. When I told him I was 57, 50 years older than him, he said “You won’t be old until you’re 60!” He also told me he loved school and was getting smarter everyday! Aha! So it must be so! Out of the mouth of babes! What a relief! Those simple words of wisdom kept a smile on my face all day!

As I read through Stacey’s blog today, Hello Halo, I closed my eyes and envisioned the gratitude in my heart, sending waves of gratitude throughout my body with each beat of my heart as does the heart of the earth sending waves of gratitude, throughout the world to every living soul and beyond. I allow myself to be totally engulfed with gratitude. Oh yes, I have been forever changed with gratitude. I am walking a new path of gratitude, and opening the door to new possibilities. Go Gratitude!

I am gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 34 - HELLO HALO

Day 33 - Letting the Pain Go With Gratitude

*artwork by Adriane Enns*

I spent many years trying to fit in, to feel normal. I so didn’t want to be different. And just about the time I did feel normal someone would say, “What happened to you?” When I was young, not even in school yet, I had gone to bible school with the family next door. Everyone kept asking me the dreaded question. I told my friend’s mother and she said to just tell them “It’s none of your business!”


I was so great’full to her, suddenly I felt powerful. During my life, I very seldom ever said it because I was too concerned about hurting someone else’s feelings but it was ok if my feelings were hurt. Now how stupid is that? I know I will always be different and I certainly am unique, this will never change. I have come to accept it and I’m ok with it. Besides being normal is highly over-rated.


Now that I don’t have to live up to the “normal” standard, I can be who I really am. I will always care about other’s feelings, but not so much about whether or not they think I am normal. Aha! This is a perfect example of “Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose” from “Me and Bobby McGee” written by Kris Kristofferson and first recorded by Roger Miller in 1970, which was later made famous by Janis Jopin. I remember this song because I was in high school at the time. Strange how some memories remain so clear and others are forever lost. Today is my birthday and I am 57!


I am living and learning, turning the pages in the book of my life, and talking my story. I am letting go of the pain with gratitude. Go Gratitude!

I am Gratitude! I am Marsha!

Day 33 - LETTING GO